The Most Important Thing

If there was one word I could use to describe my life right now, it would be CHAOS. Some days it is controlled and some days it feels as if I’m careening around the store we call life, knocking everything off the shelves and in general making a mess of everything. But one thing that never changes: things are crazy around here.

I was telling Jason the other day that my life has gotten progressively harder with the birth of each child. Don’t get me wrong – I wouldn’t change things. I’m happy with my life. But with the birth of each child has come more responsibility and more STUFF. Doctors appointments, sports, classes, school, church, therapies, medications, homework… the list goes on and on. It’s good stuff, most of it. It’s necessary stuff. But sometimes I feel as if I’m drowning.

The reality of life that is that I have two young children at home with me. Each and every single day, they are at home with me. I have a husband who commutes to work for 2 hours each day. He works 8-10 hour days on top of his commute. He isn’t home a lot during the week, and when he is home, he is tired. I have a child with special needs, and he requires more attention and care than perhaps other children of his age. My husband’s family lives in another state and we don’t see them often. My parents still work and they aren’t around much, either. It’s hard sometimes. It’s worth it, 100%, but I won’t lie and say it isn’t hard.

And yet I’m thankful for this opportunity to stay at home. I won’t lie and say that I don’t miss working sometimes, because I do. I miss the socialization and I miss my coworkers and clients. But I am grateful to my husband, who works so hard to provide for us. His hard work allows me to stay at home with my children.

I think most of us who stay at home would say that we are grateful for the opportunity to do so. We love our children and we are thankful that we get to have the joy and responsibility of this precious time with them. But I also think most of us would say that sometimes it is difficult. Sometimes we are overwhelmed. Sometimes we desperately need a break.

I had this great idea, as a working mom, that if I ever got to stay at home that I would have TIME. Time that would be spent with my children, sure, but also time for myself. I could craft, and cook, and decorate, and blog…. oh, the time I would have.

No. LOL. I feel like I had more time to myself when I was working than I do now.

Throughout each of my days, I can find myself stressing about time. It seems like each day I have a to do list that is overwhelming, and if I am honest, it seems like that list never gets completely done. Every day I make a checklist, and most days I don’t complete it. I get mad. I get frustrated. Why can’t I get ahead?

There are times, in the midst of my chaos, when I have to stop and remind myself of the most important thing. I’m not here to clean my house. I’m not here to schedule appointments. I’m not here to pay bills, or fold laundry, or even complete my bible study homework.

I’m here to raise my kids.

Yes, those other things are important. They must be done. They must be somehow fit into the holes of your day. But the most important thing – those kids. My kids.

I can’t get so bogged down in my to do list that I forget that they are the most important thing.

Maybe it means you push aside laundry to read a story. Maybe it means you forget the cleaning and instead go to the park. Maybe it means you say no to commitments because there are more pressing matters inside your own home.

I write this as a reminder to my own self: sometimes the most important work we will do is inside our own homes.

Let’s not forget that.

Comments

  1. Crystal Stubbs says:

    Very well said and a great reminder for those of us in the trenches of motherhood.

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